This post was inspired by MyPaleSkin on youtube's video she recently posted. Click here to watch it before continuing to read.
Okay so anyone who knows me in real life knows for maybe the past year and a half or so, I've struggled with problems with my skin, that I've never necessarily had. I mean, I've had spots as every teenager has - but it's never been the way it is now.
At it's worst, it looks like this.
Obviously this is incredibly hard to cover up, no matter how good of a foundation or concealer etc you have. It also hurts, it's very dry and annoying in general.
This is what it looks like when I have makeup on:
So from these photos (purposely taken with a flash) you can see the redness still shows through, there are very horrible dry patches and you can see my skin in general is not "smooth" like someone else's may be.
There are two reasons I decided to make this post. One was because of MyPaleSkin's video (that now has an amazing 11 million views) again, please watch that first because it will explain this post better than I most likely can, haha. The other is because of this:
Anyone who knows me personally will have seen this status I put up previously to writing this post. But yeah, this was my other reason. I was on my way to see my dad, my boyfriend had dropped me off at the train station so I could be on my merry way, I was feeling good, I felt positive, I liked how I looked/how my makeup looked. Obviously I know my skin has a bit of a problem just now and isn't particularly nice looking... I have to wake up and see that every morning and I am incredibly self conscious about it.
It sucks just as much because I want to be a makeup artist and I am constantly stuck in this rut of "Why would anyone trust me with their face when they see mine?" But it's literally NOTHING I am doing wrong, I clean my face just as much and as well as everyone else does, I clean my makeup brushes, I do everything I'm supposed to... but unfortunately I'm stuck with my skin like this at the moment.
It sucks. I hate it. I hate looking in the mirror. I hate feeling uncomfortable to go outside without makeup. And for people - my age as well (I say this because surely girls my age will know what it's like to feel insecure about themselves)- to comment/take photos and laugh at me is just down right disgusting. Am I or am I right?
A few of the things they said:
"What is the point in her wearing makeup when you can see she has spots anyway?"
"That looks disgusting.."
"She's clearly never washed her face before"
I hate my skin. I hate being uncomfortable in it. But what can I do?
I have tried medication and different types of makeup, it's nothing I am allergic to. I haven't been to a dermatologist yet purely because I have to be sent to one by my doctor, which I haven't been yet.
If anything comes from this post, I just want people to be aware of how they can make people feel. I think when it really comes down to it people pick out other peoples insecurities because they are insecure themselves, but it still doesn't give them the right.
Without my boyfriend even knowing this had happened yet, he text me when he got home from dropping me off, telling me how beautiful I looked. And after that, did I believe it? No.
Would I have if that hadn't happened? Yeah, probably.
Will I ever believe it now? Maybe someday.
And that right there is why you should never wreck someones confidence.
Even if you don't agree with what someone is doing/wearing... Keep. Your. Fucking. Mouth. Shut. End of story.
And remember, what comes around goes around.
